Violence against women does not appear suddenly. It develops through a pattern that repeats, in a circle that closes and opens again, until it becomes almost impossible to leave. Experts call this pattern the “wheel of violence”.
At its centre is control — the abuser's need to dominate, to set the rules, to keep a woman in a constant state of fear. Around that centre, the phases turn: tension, incident, reconciliation, and then tension again. Each phase feeds the next, as if the wheel is constantly turning.
First comes tension. Small remarks, control, nervousness. A woman feels that she has to watch every gesture, to adapt in order to avoid conflict. Then comes the incident — violence that can be physical, psychological, sexual or economic. After that, paradoxically, comes a period of reconciliation. The abuser apologises, promises change, shows tenderness. That “honeymoon” creates the illusion that the circle has been broken. But soon the tension returns and everything starts again.
Recognising the wheel of violence means understanding that this is a pattern, not an “isolated incident”.
Why is the wheel so dangerous? Because each new rotation usually brings more severe forms of violence. Periods of reconciliation become shorter, and incidents become increasingly brutal. The victim often finds herself trapped between the hope that her partner will change and the fear that next time it will be worse.
It is important to stress: violence is never the victim's fault. The blame is always on the abuser. Recognising the wheel of violence means understanding that this is a pattern, not an “isolated incident”. This is the first step toward liberation.
Leaving the circle is not easy, but it is possible. Support is needed — from institutions, safe houses, friends, family and professionals. Every conversation, every report, every helping hand can slow the turning of the wheel and open a path toward freedom. Violence must not be seen as a private matter, because it leaves consequences for the whole society. Only when we stand together against that circle can we stop it.
If you recognise signs of violence in your surroundings, do not stay silent. Talk to someone you trust, contact institutions, call an SOS helpline. Your reaction can save someone's life. Violence feeds on silence — and we can break silence only together.
The “OSNAŽI” project works to break this circle through psychosocial support, education and the empowerment of women who have survived violence. Not only help in crisis, but the long-term return of safety and dignity.
The “OSNAŽI” project is implemented with the support of the Secretariat for Social Protection of the City of Belgrade.
Programme patron: Secretariat for Social Protection of the City of Belgrade